MISSION STATEMENT: Welcome to my Blog! My goal with this blog is to inform and to inspire my sixty plus readers! You are never to old to exercise! Keep moving! All opinions, thoughts and statements are mine based on 69 years of living! Injuries and surgeries past and present will be discussed! If I recommend a product or a lifestyle change it is something that I myself have used or have experienced! All nutrients and supplements I recommend may appear to be harmless but please check with your MD! Some may interfere with your current medications! This blog will be ongoing! Posts will be made when I feel I have worthwhile opinions, thoughts and statements! I may go back and review past posts to make changes if I feel necessary! Before undertaking any exercise routine please check with your health care provider!






Thursday, December 5, 2013

BIPOLAR / DEPRESSION

Something was wrong! Confused, out of touch, scared, feeling alone! I was doing last minute 2004 Christmas shopping.  Getting to my car and driving home was to be a major achievement. I contemplated calling my brother. I managed to arrive home to be with my family. Something was still wrong. I sat in my chair hoping that being with my family would mitigate what was happening to me. It didn't! I now call it the "episode" and it was not nice. It must have been frightening to my daughters and parents. I was delusional and also displayed severe OCD. My daughters remained with me and called my brother early AM who took me to the Emergency at the local hospital. The next thing I knew I was being taken to the local psychiatric hospital. I was diagnosed as Bipolar!  Although I thought I was there for several days I was told by my brother it was two weeks. I was placed on four medications, probably the reason I lost all track of time. I returned home trying to assess what had just happened. I needed to face certain business and financial issues.
Most of all I needed to face the diagnosis of  me being Bipolar. The "episode" all to often came back to my memory. Was suicide ever in my thoughts? That question was always asked by my MDs. I would tell them "no" !  Several months later I fell into a terrible depression. It lasted about two weeks and it was like nothing I  had ever experienced. By Pass surgery was easier to handle because it was physical not mental. I slept and would eat only when I was hungry, not for the enjoyment of eating and would struggle to answer the phone. I only wished to fall asleep, that was my only relief. One day I made the decision to get out of bed and go for a walk at the nearby park, I also thought that if I did not I may die in my own bed. Although my business and financial problems still existed it was my mental condition I was concerned with. I walked every day and started going to the gym which helped greatly but I also had the wonderful support and love of my brother and sister in law whom I owe my life too, the love and support of my wonderful daughters, also a network of dear friends that I will never forget.
In the interim I had to make a lot of difficult choices but as my oldest daughter would say " Dad, it's just stuff"!
It has been nine years which is hard to believe since that day in Dec. Have I been depressed since? Of course! Do I feel bipolar symptoms? Yes! The good news: I am only taking one med 2-3 times/day and 1/2 an ambiem at bed time which I plan to discontinue. Exercise has helped greatly! I do not lie in bed in the AM thinking. In my opinion the worst thing you can do. I get up early have my coffee, eat a small breakfast, watch the news and realize how fortunate I am! I surround myself with family and great friends, listen to music, and keep in touch with the friends I cannot see as often as I would like. I have a better understanding, empathy and sympathy of the issue of mental illness.